Romeo&Cinderella ♡ Roleplay

[Akemi and Renji kind of remind me of two kindergarteners going to school for the first time together ^_^ ]

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For a moment, just a brief moment, the uncertainty in the young man beside her's face makes her hesitate herself, gripped with a sudden fear that this time may be the time when he is not okay. Every year since he began school again has held this initial tension as they stand in front of the gates for the first time of the school year, with his millisecond of stillness and her endless moment of the need to somehow protect him from everything- the loss, the confusion, the uncertainty, everything. However, she always doubts that such a thing is within her capabilities, given that she is so useless all of the time. Akemi's self esteem has never been very good, and it is moving in two directions at once within recent years, combined with the knowledge that he would still choose Tomoko over him but the warmth of having him by her side. This confliction threatens to tear the young woman apart at times, but she has managed to not allow herself to succumb to any long-term Bad Times, only the occasional day where it is hard to stomach food when she remembers her transgressions in never telling Renji the truth.

When his warm hand slips into hers, she instinctively squeezes it in sync with his own application of pressure. In that moment, everything feels okay, as though everything is meant to be. Why else would their hands slip together with such breathless ease? "We'll- We'll go together, alright?" he suggests, looking nervous but sounding determined, "Let's go."

Akemi smiles her most comforting smile at him, warm and caring, and nods, squeezing his hand lightly again. "Together." With that, they both walk forward into the school, making their way to the correct classroom.

---

Akemi can almost feel the release of breath from the young man beside her as he seems to slip into a more comfortable state, waving at people who walk past him and smiling in a way which provides her with some sort of strength as well. The two, to a certain extent, are rather reliant on each other, drawing strength from the other and benefiting from the presence of the other party in their life. Selfish though it may be, Akemi is glad that he must rely on her, remembering back when that wasn't the case and he was able to leave her, even if he didn't realize he was doing so. Even thinking about those years makes a knot tie up in her stomach, threatening to squeeze it. But she takes a deep breath and is able to loosen it a bit, reminding herself that those years were a different time, and without the crucial person will not be returning. I hope she never comes back, Akemi thinks before realizing her own thoughts and inhaling sharply for a moment, horrified by her own mind. Don't say that. It isn't her fault that she was perfect and I'm not. That was my fault. My fault.

As though greedily trying to draw strength from his nearness, Akemi keeps her grip on Renji's hand. Some people glance over at the hands curiously, but most people know the closeness of the two, or have long ago simply assumed that they were dating, though this isn't actually the case. Akemi is fine with that, for she thinks of their current relationship as more meaningful than something like that anyway. Akemi glances over towards Renji to examine his expression, altered into a slightly thoughtful one. She wants to ask him what he is thinking of, but also doesn't want to pry. In the end, the young woman remains silent until they reach their first period, at which point Renji turns towards her. "Are we taking Chemistry this year, Akemi?" he asks her, eyebrows quirked up as though to be the epitome of inquisitive.

Akemi nods, "Right." Actually, the young woman was supposed to have been on a faster track for sciences, taking Bio freshmen year, Chem and AP Bio as a double science Sophomore year, and Physics Junior year. However, she made the decision to stay with the normal track so that she could have more classes with Renji, in case he needed her.

Tomoko wasn't stupid. Through the painful hours spent in the airplane and even before that, she had long accepted that when she returned, things would have changed. When she'd left, the world did not stop for her. Tokyo did not stop for her. Akemi may have grown into something beautiful. Tetsuya may have finally settled down with a girl who could keep up with his ways. But Renji...she couldn't see it. In her mind, he was forever smiling, forever kind and sweet like natural honey. She was stupid for him. He couldn't have changed, she told herself, he still loved her and clung onto her just like she had unwillingly clung onto him. He stopped for her. He must have. Life would have continued onward, and the only recognition it gave to the little liar called Cinderella was, perhaps, the barest wisp of memory. Something to hold onto.

She did not even bother to think: what if Renji let go?

Tomoko stood frozen and stiff, staring at Tetsuya face but not truly seeing him. Memories flashed past her eyes, quick and faint and fragmented into little pieces like the wind. A fluttering eyelash. A peal of ringing laughter. The tip of a reddened ear. And then, just like that, they all disappeared, and her vision melted back into the white walls and tiled floor of the kitchen, followed by the fair skin and blond hair of Tetsuya. His eyes betrayed nothing, and yet, she sensed something funny about the boy. Was it how he swallowed? Or how his mouth opened and closed pointlessly, seemingly unable to grasp onto words? Tomoko might have known if her mind hadn't been so scattered. But before she could even attempt to regain herself, Tetsuya was already announcing the arrival of their "ride" and taking his things from the butler. Dumbly, she followed and found the maid from before handing her a simple blue backpack and her lunch, then being ushered into the sleek black car.

As the door shut, Tomoko decided against talking to Tetsuya to try and worm some more information from him. Rather, she seated herself as far away from him as possible and stared out the window. What would she do when the car came to a stop, she stepped out, and found herself at the gates to a school that Renji belonged to? To a boy who would regard as just another girl with absolutely no relation to him? Even if Akemi had told him of the girl whom he loved ten years ago, Tomoko doubted it would make a difference. He would not feel the same way he felt before. He was already lost. Renji was gone. Besides, he was just one of the many others who had fallen for her charms. He did not even know who she truly was, not like Tetsuya did.

Her heart hurt nonetheless.

As Tomoko numbly sifted through her thoughts, willing it to lead her any way it wish to, she nearly missed the quiet words uttered by the man next to her. His voice had first sounded like a buzzing, or a ringing perhaps, in her ear, but eventually, the muffled sounds cleared and came into focus, and it took Tomoko slightly longer than usual to understand his words. "How does it feel to burned by fate? Hm?" he questioned, and by his quiet tone, it was almost as if he were speaking to himself under his breath. Tomoko remained absolutely still and maintained her expressionless features quite easily from the years of practice. She continued to stare out the window, as if she hadn't heard him.

"Does it feel gruesome?" he continued, "Does it feel like someone has pushed you into darkness, and you can't find your way out? Trust me, this feeling won't be new for long. You'll be feeling it for a long time now, as long as you continue to be a common whore. And oh yes, I do intend to enjoy watching you squirm." Tomoko, for the second time that day, found herself caught off guard again. Pushed into darkness. Can't find your way out. It was these words that seemed to strike a blow. They reverberated frantically, insanely around in her head, effectively droning out the rest of what Tomoko assumed was his little rant, or simply something to try and break her. Pushed into darkness. Can't find your way out. And almost instantly, more words can crashing down on her and Renji was, for a brief and rare moment, forgotten. Locked in a cage. The only way out. Broken wings and summer and butterflies. The sound of shattering plates and tortured screams of a broken heart and harsh cruel laughter that jeered at her, mocked her.

Youngest and weakest, least cared for and alone, alone, alone. Pitiful girl who cries in her sleep and wishes for family and companion and love. A failure, a mistake. So many words...Tomoko watched the blurred lines of concrete and pink trees of sakura disappear and reappear, dancing in between the lines of light and shadow of the sunrise. "I suppose I should give you a proper welcome now. Welcome to a Tokyo where not one person, not even Renji, cares about you or loves." Nobody cares, oh how true it was! Mother and father and Akise and Ryo and the neighboring girl who watched behind curtains, her shadow also laughing at her, smirking gleefully at a girl who tried to tamper with destiny and cut the red string of fate. And the butterfly with its two shimmering, golden wings of true, correct fate that would always come back together no matter how many times she ripped them apart.

"Welcome to a world where you are truly and will always be all by yourself. So again, I ask you, how does it feel?"

Tomoko was silent for a moment, her eyes still lost and wandering. Finally, she spoke, and her voice came out equally quiet, though it was clear and direct and though the words were meant to hurt, she did not inject venom inside them. "How does it feel, I do wonder," she said quietly, her voice an empty canvas, void of all emotions; simply there. Very slowly, she turned to face Tetsuya with his blazing eyes, her own shallow and pensive, as if contemplating a question that had sparked her curiosity with half a heart, "How does it feel, Tetsuya, to constantly be reminded of something you will never have? Everyday, every waking hour, pondering and getting tired of pondering when you find no answer? How does it feel to have something that appears and disappears and leaves you grasping desperately for what was never your's in the first place? If you don't even know what I am speaking about, then you are a fool. Tetsuya, whether you like it or not, we are very much alike in our desires and situations." She placed a bit for emphasis on those words, but not with malice or victorious glee. Rather, she thought her words had come out forceful and confident and commanding. And true. Above all, she knew that what she had uttered had not been a lie.

Somewhere in her heart, a pang of familiarity hit her dully. She had spoken like that before, a long time ago. She had spoken the truth before, a strong and loud and blunt voice that echoed in her head, begging her to remember--if only she could remember. The car came to an abrupt stop, and Tomoko stepped out, trying hard to find the spring in her step once more. Shouldering her bag, she tried for a polite smile, as those kinds didn't use up so much "bubbly-ness", and bid the driver farewell and thanks. Then, with another smile, she turned to face Tetsuya, "Shall we, then?" But as the two headed for the gates, where school must have already been in full swing, she dropped her smile just a bit and gave him the answer she knew he craved. "It doesn't feel like anything. But it reeks of home and two brothers and a dirty cage."

Then she gave a girlish giggle to show him that the conversation was over, or at least for now. Tomoko was once more out of his reach, instead replaced with a simple-minded fraud.

---

Seeing Renji's smile when she confirms his guess in regards to the science that they will be taking this year, Akemi continues to smile as well, though hers is more reserved and just a bit shyer, of course. She may be slightly more confident than she had been as a young child, but the potential offered in the past for her social skills was never quite reached, for she has always found herself too awkward or too otherwise occupied to ever become a fully integrated member of the classroom setting. Every year she promises herself that she will fix this consistently below-average social behavior, but always finds some stray justification and decides that she is fine with just Renji or, for that brief period of time before the jealousy and the drifting, fine with just Tomoko and Renji with her. Her emotions seem rather linked to those who are close to her, in that her own emotions will reflect theirs. If they do not, she is likely to feel slightly guilty for it, though needlessly so.

For example, the sudden flash of pain across her friend's face as he seems to concentrate and lose grasp of something, suddenly staggering a bit and requiring her strength, or what little of it there is, in order to remain standing. "R-Renji? Are you okay? What happened? Does your head hurt?" words escape her mouth in flurries of anxiousness as she looks with genuine concern at the young man, still gripping his hand as though to offer support. Such a change this is from what it once was in their lives. Before the accident and before Tomoko, it was always him who lead expeditions and stopped to make sure that Akemi was okay when he stomach began to twist around painfully. However, now she stands and asks after his health, doing her best to be a pillar of support for her childhood friend.

Much to her gratitude, Renji soon speaks. "Can we- Can we sit down?" he asks pleadingly, still looking weak and as white as a sheet. "Would that be. . .alright?" Akemi nods, expression gentle but smile vanished as her features remain colored with concern.

"O-of course! Come on, we'll sit over there," she responds quickly, sitting down at a chair next to the window and in the area a bit further back than the middle of the arrangement of desks. "What happened? Is it a headache?" she asks softly.

(I know right! It's like, while Renji and Akemi are so careful with one another, all smiles and laughter, Tetsuya and Tomoko are waging war through words and behind masks, haha. It'll be interesting to see the four clash, eh?)



As Tetsuya turned around to leave the office, he bent down (the action subconsciously irritated Tomoko, as she found her height less than desirable) and whispered quietly into her ear. Then, he was gone, and Tomoko's ear felt cold once more. His breath always smelled so fresh and sharp and yet, Tomoko had realized in the few hours they have spent together, his breath was always so warm...she did not quite know what to feel towards the little observation. Silently, she watched him turn into a hallway and disappear from view. For a moment or two, she simply stood there, completely still. A Renji who had forgotten. A Tetsuya who would leave her with constant headaches (why did he have to be able to read through her so easily?). A Tokyo that mocked her. And Akemi, too..."Fate. It's always been a rebellious little thing, hasn't it?" she mused out loud, gently and almost a little sadly, "I'm almost afraid to try and bind you."

But she was the puppeteer, and each string was attached to her fingers. She pulled the strings, she controlled the crowds. She was good enough, and if she won over Renji at the brittle age of, what, seven? Then seventeen would surely be even easier! There was nothing to worry about...Tomoko strode forward to the office lady, smiling brightly, "Hello, Otonashi-sensei. How are you?"

The older woman gave a breathy laugh, "Just fine, dearest. How was America? You mother told me," she added with a wink at Tomoko's slight frown.

"Lovely," Tomoko replied as she slid a neatly folded note across the countertop, where her mother had written a letter to excuse her for her tardiness, "New York was fantastic, I daresay. And Las Vegas was simply stunning...well, I must be off, then. I wish you a pleasant day," she finished kindly, turning to go herself, her schedule in hand. With a wave, she shut the door and slipped back out into the deserted hallways. She glanced down at her schedule--first period, Chemistry. Basic Chemistry, she though rather irritably. Of course, she was much smarter than that, but due to last minute scheduling as well as the difference in learning speed in America, she had to settle for Basic Chemistry. At least, for the semester.

With a sigh that Tomoko wasn't entirely sure of the reason for, she began to walk, scanning the classrooms for room "620".

---

---

"Yeah," Renji responds before giving a comforting smile to Akemi, though it does little to reassure the young woman, "It's alright, it just comes and goes sometimes. I'm fine now." This partially eases her worries a bit, but also prompts new ones into the sensitive girls head, as Akemi begins to worry about the fact that, even years after the incident, Renji still suffers from such lingering side effects as the on-again off-again headaches.

"Don't push yourself to hard," she requests softly, looking up at him with eyes that are borderline pleading, because she dislikes the thought of him being in pain for any reason. Of course, it is also partially because she fears what will happen if he remembers the truth. Akemi has this irrational fear that, despite his kindness, Renji will hate her if he remembers those lost years and realizes that she had hidden the truth from him for the past few years. Normally, she would trust that he would forgive her, but thinks herself despicable every day for keeping the existence of someone he seemed to love so much hidden from him, even if Akemi cannot help but feel a reluctant dislike towards Tomoko. After all, Tomoko is the one who seems to have it all, to be beautiful and perfect and talented and, most importantly, to be perfectly capable of taking Renji away from Akemi at any given moment. The very thought of it makes the young woman shudder, her hand still in Renji's, connecting them from across the very narrow aisle.

She looks up just in time to meet Renji's eyes, and to see a slight hint of fear behind them, a look which nearly frightens her. What is he afraid of? Me? her thoughts leap to the worst conclusion, the worst in her mind anyway, but the fears are soon set aside by his words, which fill her with an incredible sense of warmth. "Will this really last? I hope you know how. . .wonderful it is when you're around, Akemi. But do you think we'll be able to last like this. . .forever?" Akemi feels butterflies in her stomach for a moment, her face beginning to heat up slightly as he makes these confessions and asks if they will be able to stay this way forever. Akemi's mind races a mile a minute, in a state of a rather nice kind of nervousness as she struggles to find an appropriate response. The urgency of settling on the correct words heightens as he begins to dismiss what he has just said. "I guess I'm just being stupid again, thinking about these things. Just forget I asked, all right?"

"I-I don't want to forget," Akemi whispers in a voice so nervous and soft that it is hardly audible. She keeps thinking about his word- Forever. But everything has to end eventually, doesn't it? In this moment, next to him, she sorely wishes that to not be the truth. If she could freeze a moment in time, it would be this one, sitting here with butterflies in her stomach and the sun bright and cheerful outside of the window. The two fall silent once more, as Akemi realizes that he probably didn't hear her, and also sees the almost cruel irony in her own statement, when it is he who has forgotten. He who has forgotten the last time he probably said these things, to a different girl, in a different era of their lives. Dwelling on this makes her stomach twist again, but the warmth of his palm against hers helps her a bit. Only a few moments later, though, the moment is shattered as a familiar figure saunters through the door, confident as you like.

Koto-san, Akemi thinks, addressing the young man formally despite having been in the same classes as him frequently throughout their school years. He is the only other person who knows about her transgression against Renji, the only one who was able to call her out on her actions. He is also the one who stole her first kiss several years ago, reducing her to tears as she ran away to try and wipe away the remnants of what had happened. There are very few positive things that she can relate to him, honestly. He kept her secret, at least, never revealing the truth to Renji despite having every opportunity and every right to do so. She struggles to avoid squirming a bit when his gaze locks onto her and he walks confidently down the aisle, forcing her to break her grasp on Renji's hand so that he can pass by without his legs knocking into their hands. Her hand falls for a moment, useless at her side, before she folds it in her lap. She cannot help but sneak a glance over his shoulder, only to be met with a "Hope you don't mind" and a sly wink, all topped with a mischievous smile.

She nearly reduces her size on the spot by hunching her shoulders forward slightly in an instinctive protective measure before regaining her composure and posture just enough to force out a response. "O-of course not," she responds, daring enough to make brief eye contact before snapping her gaze back to the blackboard. She can now feel the eyes of his friends, or at least she thinks them to be his friends, as people stare and wonder why the great Koto Tetsuya would be speaking to simple, forgettable Akemi. Top of this class, sure, but otherwise unremarkable to the untrained eye. Most simply mark it off as him being nice, but several girls switch their gazes between him and her, wishing he had sat next to them.

Is he in this class? I thought he was taking physics. He's in the other track, right? Akemi muses nervously, though she is able to regain some measure of confidence, or what little of it she possesses. After all, she isn't entirely the scared little girl whom he had called out behind the school several years ago. She's grown up, if only just a little. Still, her face is red from the wink and the stares.

As Tomoko turned a corner into what must have been "Junior Territory", she suddenly found the previously deserted hallways full of talking students, all seemingly around sixteen or seventeen. Groups of threes and fours were clustered along the lockers and hallway walls. While some spoke in quiet, teacher-approving voices, most of the groups were laughing loudly and googling shallow things such as adsf, completely ignoring what Tomoko guessed to be a group project. The idiotic, shallow people all around her made the young woman disgusted to the core--immaturity was something she looked down upon with venom. Regardless, she forced a spring to her step, feeling rather smug when she noticed the way her hair bounced along with her little skips. She thought it gave her a rather innocent look, and by the way several boys and girls were eyeing her, she knew she was correct. Tomoko waved at a particularly cute boy before turning her attention back to the room numbers. 603...605...607--

"Tomo-chan? Is that you?" Tomoko paused, turning to look at a girl with wide eyes. She seemed familiar, but only faintly, and something told her that the girl had not played too important of a role during her time in Japan. Standing up, the auburn rushed over and attacked Tomoko in a chest-crushing hug, "Tomo-chan! It's me, Rika!" she squealed delightfully, "I've missed you so, so much!" Rika. Tomoko searched inside her memories for the girl who was now hugging her to death. Curly red hair. A splash of freckles. Brown eyes, a crap-load of makeup--sticky lips, black mascara, expertly applied blush that was quite a good rival for Tomoko's natural ones, and an annoying, high-pitched voice that gave Tomoko a headache...Rika. Rika. Rika! It all came back, blurry and wispy, but now at least Tomoko knew who she was. Her "best friend" ever since sixth grade, apparently. She was the most popular girl at the time (with the exception of Tomoko herself, of course), and she was pretty sure she had maintained the spot.

"Rika!" she replied with equal enthusiasm, forcing her eyes to widen, her lips to part, and her for cheeks to flush with color, "It's been so long!"

"I know!" Rika cried, pulling back and grinning, "Oh my god, your face is absolutely adorable! What kind of toner do you use now? And your lashes--wait, are you even wearing mascara! Eek! And you're hair! The bob is so cute, Tomo-chan! And..."

It took a while, but Tomoko eventually detached herself from the girl who was beside herself with excitement. As she bid the girl goodbye, Tomoko couldn't help but think how much Rika had improved in her acting skills--she was still clumsy though, as it took Tomoko only a few seconds to see that her eyes were practically burning with hate and her smile looked positively livid. Still, her voice had been rather convincing...617...619...620. Tomoko did not hesitate in the least. With much elegance, she slid open the door and entered, smile ready.

---

---

Out of the corner of her eyes, constantly aware of her surroundings, Akemi can see the confusion on Renji's face as his eyes jump from her to Koto-san, and back again. He doesn't remember him, of course, she thinks to herself, wishing she could be so lucky before instantly scolding herself for such a rude thought, even though she knows that Koto-san is far from the Mr. Nice Guy act he puts on for everyone else. He is the only person she can see through, and only because prior circumstances have led to him revealing his true nature to her. Otherwise, she would probably be buying into the act of him being nice and handsome and all that jazz. She wouldn't be one of his strange groupies, of course, but only because her attention is trained on Renji, just as it has been since she was a child. One thing one must note about Akemi is her resilience- not only in regards to her feelings for Renji, but her ability to keep on pushing through the bad times and, in some circumstances, ability to block them out completely. Of course, such blocking is never permanent, unfortunately for the seemingly frail young woman.

She gives Renji a glance when he introduces himself to Koto-san, already knowing that the young man behind her has no intentions of getting along with the one beside her. He never did when they were younger, anyways. Luckily, Koto-san is soon distracted from the two by what appears to be a note given by, based upon her giggling, a girl with ponytails and braces. Watashi-san, if Akemi recalls correctly, as she usually does. The girl is always surrounded by friends and, in elementary school, Akemi had rather envied her for that loyal cluster of girls whom she always seemed a part of. Those were the sorts who stuck together through school, went to the same local university, married people from a group of friends, and had kids who would end up repeating that pattern. Back then, and now as well, Akemi reminds herself that she should be content with what she has- to feel otherwise is greedy, especially when she could do nothing to deserve such a close-knit group of friends. She is far too flawed for that.

Akemi keeps her eyes trained up front, but soon finds that to have been an unwise decision. Her blood runs cold at the sight of a familiar figure, petite and pretty and practically perfect in every way, standing at the head of the classroom, giving the class a saccharine smile. Akemi's heart beat accelerates, and her eyes immediately fly to Renji, who is bending over the desk with his hands over his head as if in immense pain. She can practically hear the blood rushing to her ears, and wonders vaguely if her face is as red as it feels right now, colored with shame and fear all at once. She curls her fingers around the bottom of her seat, and the young woman's stomach begins to twist in every which way. Everything was perfect. Everything was going to be fine. Why is she here? She's supposed to be gone. She's supposed to be gone. Why can't she just stay away? Akemi closes her eyes and takes a deep breath as subtly as possible, instantly sending a slur of insults towards herself.

Don't think that- why are you so worthless? You're just jealous because she's better than you in every way. Because she's perfect, and you are worthless. How dare you think that way? Because you know she'll take Renji back now? Because you will be alone? Isn't that how it should be- a girl who lies to keep someone by her side doesn't deserve to have friends at all, her mind reels.

I don't deserve to have friends at all, she thinks, her stomach tugging again and making her feel as though it is being stabbed at and squeezed with a noose. No, no, keep it down. Don't go back to that place, she almost begs her mind, only to nearly jump ten feet in the air at a mouth inches from her ear, leaning forwards and speaking from just behind her. The voice which has surprised her comes from none other than Koto Tetsuya, whom she had forgotten about in her moment of rather intense distress.

"The show's about to start. What's your move?" She can't help but wonder how he can be so calm- he has a history with Tomoko as well, does he not? How can he be so perfectly calm and collected about it? Akemi envies and hates, or perhaps merely dislikes, that trait in him. The cool young man in the cool shirts, never really fazed. That's not true, she reminds herself before shooing the thought away to turn her head slightly towards him, realizing something at that moment, attention no longer focused on Renji as he stares at Tomoko.

"Did you know about this?" she asks, her voice surprisingly steady, though hardly above a murmur, the softness and tone giving away how shaken up she is at the moment.

Oh, lovely. All three of them were here, damn it. Seven in the morning, and here she was, playing puppeteer again. She needed a break, or just a day or two to actually think...

Tomoko was finding it harder and harder to maintain her smile. First Renji's accident, then Tetsuya's pathetic attempt at abuse, and now this? Nevertheless, Tomoko continued to beam shyly at the class, who had now seemed to jerk awake from the stunned silence. Soon enough, cries of "Tomo-chan!" and "Kawashima-senpai!" filled the air, and she found herself surround by a mass of students who seemed to have remembered Kawashima Tomoko, the pretty girl from primary school who had left spontaneously and mysteriously to America. But as girls came forward to embrace her and guys leaped over desks to ruffle her hair, Tomoko's eyes found its way to a particular patch of desks near the back of the room, where three people sat, unmoving. One horrified, one amused, and one enchanted.

Akemi's face was flushed (but not in the elegant way Tomoko managed her's), the tips of her ears a rather impressive shade of red. She was rigid and though she tried to hide it, Tomoko easily saw her panic and fear and resentment. They glimmered naked in her wide eyes. Meanwhile, behind her sat a smiling Tetsuya, and by his position, Tomoko guessed that he had leaned over to whisper arrogant and taunting things to Akemi. The stupid boy--he would never win her affections like that. She wasn't completely sure what, but something made Tomoko certain something had happened between the two years ago. Either way, he was fool for her, she thought absent-mindedly, trying desperately to avoid the last figure, the one who would make her stomach drop and heart pound. Renji.

She could have recognized him anywhere. His hair was left longer then the last time she'd seen him, though it was combed neatly like a gentleman's. And his eyes...deep, blue eyes that once sparkled and smiled at everything, but now looked so lost and sad and even angry. His eyes made Tomoko's smile waver, something she hadn't done for years. The sight of him, raw and real right before her eyes, finally, finally touchable and there--oh, the joy that coursed through her veins! How she longed to surge forward and gather his beautiful body into her arms and hold onto him for an eternity, his soft hair against her cheek, his skin against her own...Tomoko smiled harder as a girl hugged her, saying something about missing her. She wanted Renji for herself. She needed him.

"Alright, alright. Settle down, class is about to begin!" came the teacher's voice, and with disappointed murmurs, the crowd dispersed and Tomoko found herself strolling elegantly towards Akemi and Tetsuya and Renji, taking the seat right behind Renji, so that Tetsuya was to her left, while Akemi sat diagonally from her. With another smile, she tapped Renji on the shoulders lightly, "Hello, there," she said pleasantly, keeping her voice soft and silky, "I'm Kawashima Tomoko. It's a pleasure to meet you. May I ask your name?" She leaned forward slightly, making sure her lavender perfume would reach his nose--he used to love the scent of lavender; he loved it as much as he loved vanilla, actually. Vanilla. She hated the scent of vanilla. She always reeked of it. Turning towards Akemi, she waved playfully, "Hello--you're Akemi, right? Tetsuya, my fiance--" she nodded towards the said teenager, "--spoke of you."

You just wait, Akemi. I'll have him back. Nothing will change that.

He's lost his memories, fine. But he's still Renji, isn't he? Still kind and bashful and warm like the hot chocolate they used to share during Christmas break. A lost memory, a forgotten self...it would have changed him, yes, but deep down, he still had to be the boy who had smiled and blushed at her, fallen for her. Right? She was sure of it. Tomoko, what with the little time she had to figure out a plan (first period? She had hoped that they wouldn't meet until third period, or even lunch), she decided to play along with Akemi and Tetsuya, pretending to have only just met him. Her very, very hasty plan had been to first earn his friendship again, and then be the one to tell him that she knew his past, slowly drawing him away from Akemi. Then she would tell him about five years ago, ten years ago, and if it meant he would love her again, she wouldn't mind in the slightest to cast off who she truly was and become, once and for all, the girl he loved. She would keep on manipulating, pulling the strings, even it they cut through her fingers, if it meant Renji would be in reach again, if he would be her's again, then god forbid, she was ready. More than ready.

It was only then, watching Renji tremble and struggle for words, was Tomoko hit with another wave of horrorsome nausea. Here I am, she thought numbly as her eyes grew cold and her smile faded away, thinking he's still Renji. How stupid, how foolish! He's doesn't remember a goddamn thing, he's terrified and unstable, and the little shards of memories he manages to hold onto stabs him and leaves him weak, and here I am, still convinced he'll smile at me, grace me with his laughter...I'm just as much of an idiot as little Akemi and pathetic Tetsuya-- She was abrptly cut off when Renji shot up in his seat, shaking like never before. The teacher glared at him. His head whipped towards Akemi (possessiveness kicking in, Tomoko felt the faintest trace of anger at the gesture, though she knew it made sense--who would he trust? A girl who he'd "just" met or a girl that had the advantage to spend three years with him?), and then, he bolted out the door, leaving a dumbfounded Tomoko.

She had simply wanted to befriend him again, like so many years ago. Surely a smile, an introduction, and the scent of lavender hadn't caused that...that...that meltdown. But it had. Why? Did her presence break him that much? Was she, perhaps, still in his mind, but each time he tried to remember, it hurt too much? Was that why he had been so frightened of her? Tomoko turned slightly to look at Akemi. She would run after him. Tomoko knew she would--the kind, stupid girl would run after him, hug him tightly, win again. She wanted to run after him, too. But she knew she would cause only more pain, more terror, and such a thought made Tomoko's stomach plunge downward. You hurt Renji. You can try to smile and be nice but with every gesture you attempt, he will only remember more. And you will hurt him.

How cruel, she thought, how cruel of fate.

[sickeningly sappy post, coming through]

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For a moment, Akemi could no longer see Tomoko, for the majority of the class -if not all with the exception of her, Tetsuya, and Renji- had flocked to her and created quite the mob of people. Of course, she would expect nothing less for the greeting of Tomoko, who had been the most popular girl in school and was pretty much liked by everyone- well, everyone who had gone to their middle and elementary school, that is. In the back of her mind, Akemi notes that, apparently, everyone in their class went to one of the two. However, that is a mere stray thought as her mind finally begins to slow down in the slightest, a train rearing to a halt so that she can keep an eye on Renji's current state, which does not seem to be improving all as he continues to doubled over his desk with pain. She doesn't know what she can do to help him, and that kills Akemi a little bit inside. But she has to try and ignore the not in her stomach, threatening to make her pass out, because whatever pain she may feel, Renji's is more important. That is the way it has always been for the sweet but stupid young woman- that is why, during the bad times, she never once mentioned what was going on to him. Never mentioned the little thing with Tetsuya. She simply didn't want to upset him, or to be the one to make his smile disappear. Of course, she was the one to do so, but only for a short period of time- and then he forgot everything. This is something that she doubts she will ever be able to forgive herself for, though she stuffs such doubts to the back of her mind every morning and every night so they will not completely haunt her.

Soon, as though to only make the situation worse, Tomoko strolls over to wear they are sitting and places herself directly behind Renji. Were she a meaner person, Akemi's mind may have compared Tetsuya and Tomoko to a pair of demons, haunting them from behind. Instead, she just does her best to regain composure when she glances back towards Tomoko at the sound of her name. The young woman says hello to both of them as though she has never met either, and Akemi soon realizes what is going on- as soon as she mentions that Tetsuya is Tomoko's fiance. He did know, then. He must have told her. Thank goodness, Akemi thinks with relief, knowing that Tomoko would have damaged Renji even more if she had waltzed in and expected him to recognize her. "N-nice to meet you, Kawashima-san. Yes, I'm Akemi," the girl responds, addressing Tomoko formally but accepting the use of her first name.

She looks over at Renji as, in a pained voice, he begins the pattern to introduce himself- twice, before falling into silence with an expression of frustration and terror and confusion, all colliding together to create the perfect weapon against his psyche. In a flash he is standing and, after staring at Akemi for a brief moment, is out the door, moving too quickly for the teacher to even hope to stop him. Akemi turns to see as Tomoko's expression falls with realization and bitterness, though it is only barely visible, and catches the girl staring at her as well. In that moment of locked eyes, she thinks that Tomoko is giving her permission to run after him, or at least understanding that she herself will only cause him more pain. But why do I need her permission? Akemi thinks, shaking her head. She stands up and picks up both her bag and Renji's, and begins to run to the door. The teacher, of course, stops her.

"Tsusagawa-san, you aren't leaving as well, are you? You can't- I won't have more chaos in this class," he says firmly, but there is slight faltering. After all, he is a teacher, and fears for the safety and health of his students. He had seen Renji's expression when he ran out. "If you leave the class, it will be detention," he adds, this time with a bit more force. Akemi stares at him for only a moment, before ducking her head and tightening her grip on the bags.

"Sorry," she says softly before doing a truly uncharacteristic thing: Akemi pushes past the teacher and exits the classroom. As soon as she is in the hallways, she bursts into a run after him. She runs down the hallway, hoping that he hasn't disappeared into a room, as that would make it rather difficult for her to find him. Luckily, he has not. She finds him leaned against a wall, crying and chanting the word 'stupid' as though it were some sort of prayer. Seeing this scene makes Akemi crack a little bit inside. I did this to him. Not Kawashima-san. Me. If I had told him she existed from the beginning. No, if I had told her why she left from the beginning. He wouldn't be in so much pain. He wouldn't have been out that night to be hit by that car. He wouldn't- he wouldn't be here with me, perhaps. But he wouldn't be in so much pain. Am I some sort of sadist? Or am I just a horrible person who doesn't deserve any of what I have? she feels as though she is going to throw up, the knot pulling tighter and tighter in her stomach, but somehow manages to suppress it for the sake of Renji. All for the sake of Renji- everything is. Her secret self-loathing, her disregard for her own well-being, her stifled potential. But she has never, and will never, regret having met him in the hospital that day, because the alternative might have been a girl who never experienced anything- who lived her life in the hospital, only in school for maybe half the year, who knew nobody and spoke to no one.

Akemi walks over to Renji, her expression tender and slightly heartbroken, and she instinctively hugs him, as one would do in order to calm a frightened child. "You aren't stupid, Renji. Please don't cry," she murmurs against his shoulder, "It'll be okay, I promise. I'll make it okay. We'll find a way. But you aren't stupid. You're amazing. Why else would. . .." she trails off then, hugging him tighter.

Why else would I love you?

The 1st period chemistry class was slowly dissolving into chaos, and just at the hands of one dimpled little Ice Princess. Tomoko lost no time in slithering her way over to Renji, and with an almost desperate aura she introduced herself to him after sitting right behind him. Always the ever faithful audience of this play, Tetsuya plopped a peppermint into his mouth and began taking mental notes. Note #1: Tomoko was pretending to be meeting Akemi all over again. That was a bit bold of her. See, now she would have no safety net if Renji ever found out the truth. There was a mental file stored in Tetsuya's head named 'Tomoko's mistakes', so with an imaginary ding! the note was stored away. Tetsuya leaned forward in his chair with a smile on his face.

Note #2: Akemi was going along with it. Out of all the things she could do, this was the dumbest move. See, if he had been in her shoes, he would’ve slowly broken the news to Dimwit over here so as to avoid this kind of conflict. Then again, no one ever seemed to think ahead like Tetsuya did. Shaking his head slightly, he grabbed his “water” canteen and took a tiny sip from it. It was actually filled to the brim with vodka and sierra mist, but no one would be able to tell from the outside. The only hint they would possibly have was his breath, but he knew how to take care of that. Peppermints- my best friends. He began to reach into his pocket to retrieve one of his minty buddies when a sudden movement caught his eye. Tetsuya looked up just in time to see Renji rushing out of the classroom with the expression of a kicked dog.

Note #3: Renji couldn’t handle seeing Tomoko. A slow and sadistic smile spread across Tetsuya’s face. Renji couldn’t remember Tomoko or Tetsuya, yet he still retained some feelings of dread about the two. The impact of Renji’s emotional allergies hit Tomoko with enough force that for a second, she sat there looking dumbfounded. Akemi seemed to chase after Renji without a moment’s hesitation; why hadn’t Tomoko? The Ice Princess he knew would’ve chased after her boy toy regardless of how it affected him. Or maybe…An invisible light bulb flashed over his head. Perhaps a certain someone actually cared enough to not chase after her beloved.

Note #4: Tomoko-san had a weakness. A feeling that he had never known stirred in his chest, something that closely resembled…anger? Why was he getting angry? His fists clenched at his sides. For some reason, all this disgusting devotion to Renji…it made him sick. Akemi’s loyalty to him was understandable. She was weak, and pathetic, and always had been. Tomoko was another story. She could have any boy she wanted, yet she continued to run after Renji. Why? What was so special about that…that boy? What made him so desirable, and Tetsuya so undesirable? The murmurs from around him seemed to
fade as he found himself staring hard at the door Akemi had rushed out of. Why did she pick him over me?

Dammit, he was getting too goddamn emotional. With a determined look in his eyes, Tetsuya reached over and took a large swallow of his liquor. He was going to keep his cool. All three of those little bastards…no, he was above them. They would find out soon enough. A quick plan formed in his mind, and then he was up out of his seat.

“Mr. Ueda, I could assign group projects while you talk to Kashino-san and Tsusagawa-san,” Tetsuya said smoothly to the harried looking chemistry teacher. The teacher waved at him hurriedly before rushing out the door, leaving Tetsuya in charge. As he passed Tomoko’s desk, Tetsuya leaned down and whispered into her ear, “Sulk somewhere else, please. You’re becoming an eyesore.” He then proceeded to the teacher’s desk, wherein he turned around and flashed a brilliant smile at the mixed group of fangirls and old acquaintances waiting for him to speak. “I hope you guys will put up with me,” He said. After receiving a few giggles and responses, he put up his hand. “Please turn to pg. 23 in your books and do the group project there with a partner,” Tetsuya said. Then, he added, looking directly at Tomoko, “Try to work hard.” Especially you, Ice Princess.